Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm an Animal (fan)

When Les and I put up our Christmas tree, we have two ornaments that receive pride of place. One is a tiny Raggedy Ann made by quilling, which is tightly rolled paper. She's only about an inch tall. After we place her near the top center of the tree, she looks so vulnerable that we must give her a guardian. 



That's were Animal comes in. Sometime early in our marriage we bought a large paper mâché ornament of Animal from the Muppet show. We loved the show. We especially loved Animal. (If you've never heard the Muppets and John Denver's version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," with Animal screeching, "Won't go"—as well as the figgy/piggy pudding and bacon scenario—you don't know what you're missing.)

So when Disney ads appeared recently with Animal and the rest of the Muppet crew volunteering, I just had to pay attention. I grew even more excited when I realized what Disney was promoting.

In the "doing well by doing good" category, Disney is offering free tickets to one of their parks to one million people who volunteer for a day. You must sign up at Disney's Give a Day. Get a Disney Day. website and volunteer through HandsOn Network, Point of Light Institute, which you can link to from the Disney site. 



One of the very cool things is that opportunities are provided so you can volunteer as a family (with some opportunities for kids as young as 6), and each of you can receive a free ticket. In our area you can help pack donations at a food bank, make blankets or volunteer with Habitat for Humanity (like Animal in the commercial). You can work with seniors or help Dress for Success clients pick out interview clothes. If you have computer tech or data processing skills, there are opportunities for you.


If you are going to vacation near a Disney park this year (the tickets have to be used by December 15), this is a great way to do well for yourself by doing good for others. And if like me, you're not going to be near a Disney park this year, volunteer somewhere this year anyway. It's still a great way to help your kids experience the joy of giving. Animal would be proud.




Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Continuing the Giving

Here's an update on my daily shedding (read more on January 5 blog).
1/6 giveaway: Veggie Tale napkins (don't ask)
1/7 A china doll
1/8 & 1/9 Books of Les's
1/10 & 1/11 Linens I've kept in my hope chest for years
1/12 Food from our freezer and cabinet
It's already gotten harder to find things I am ready to give up (as the fact that I've counted Les's books that we gave away). I can't imagine what this will be like by the time I hit next December. I want to be strong and keep it going, but I am unsure if I can do it. Feel free to encourage me to keep it up!

Fighting for Life


Back in 2002, I picked up a book lying on a give-away table in our office cafeteria. Love, Greg and Lauren was a book of e-mails that Greg wrote to keep their friends posted on Lauren's progress after being burned over 80 percent of her body in the World Trade Center 9/11 attacks. I was mesmerized. I felt like I was right there with them in that hospital burn unit awaiting each day's prognosis. I read like a junkie looking for another hit.

I felt much the same as I read Letters to Darcy, which was graciously supplied for me by Christian Speaker Services. Tracy Ramos blogged her joys, frustrations, fears and sorrows as she discovers first that she is pregnant and then that the baby she is carrying has trisomy 18, a birth defect that made baby Darcy "incompatible with life."  Ramos shares her feelings sometimes with such naked honesty that I want to avert my eyes. But I keep on reading, all 11 months of posts, through the birth, death and aftermath. 



Below is an interview done with Ramos. May it inspire you to fight for life no matter how small, especially as we approach the National Sanctity of Human Life Day on January 24. And if you want to win a copy of Letters to Darcy, post a comment about something from the interview that made you think.








1. When you received Darcy’s diagnosis, did you ever feel as if you were being punished for something you had done?
The question of whether I had done something that would cause God to punish me in this way did cross my mind. Jason and I both wondered this. But I know, as evidenced by how God used this special child, that he was not using her to punish me. Of course, the Bible says that God does discipline, or train, His children to put them back on the right course, but that’s not the same as punishment. If the blessings that came with Darcy are punishment, I don’t know what punishment is.         
2. How did you hold on to your faith in God through the trials?
I don’t know how I got through. It would be easy to say that I wish I had slept through the entire thing and then woke up when it was over. But that’s not how I feel. My time with Darcy was the single most difficult series of days in my life. But I would not have gotten to know my little angel were it not for those days. I once heard that it is a beautiful experience that I would wish on no one. Been there, done that, and it’s so true.
I know one thing for sure: The Lord is the author and finisher of my faith (Hebrews 12:2). I had faith not because I had it in me to have faith. I had faith because He gave me just enough faith to go through this.
3. What more did you learn about your faith through your journey with Darcy?
I believe that the things I learned about my faith are only some of the blessings I mentioned above. The biggest lesson is that God will never leave us in our time of need. Another is that it relates to the second half of 1 Corinthians 10:13: that God will make a way for me to endure the testings, or trials, in my life. We should never underestimate the power of God or second-guess Him. He loves us and wants only the best for us. And even though we don’t understand how trials can be good for us, we must trust in God’s sovereignty. We need to have faith through the trials, and when we reach the other end, we can look back and see that He has been carrying us through them all.
4. How did you find the daily strength to go on, knowing that your baby would probably not survive long after her birth?
In the beginning, my focus was on finding a cure or anything that could save her. Eventually, my focus turned to wanting to make the most of the time God would allow me to have with her. He gave me the strength and inspiration I needed to focus, not on Darcy’s dying, but on her living.
I wanted to make sure I had no regrets after she was gone, so I made a list that was based on advice I solicited from many people who had already walked this road before me. I made sure that we did as many of the items on the list as God would allow, so that Darcy’s life—however long it might be—would have meaning for me and for everyone else who knew her. We had to make a lifetime of memories in a very short time. We didn’t know how long Darcy would live, but we went through that list as if she were going to die before the next minute came. I believe that gave me the energy and drive that helped me bear what could otherwise have been a horrific two weeks. Jason made it his goal to see to it that every item on the list was accomplished. I believe it was his shining moment.
5. What did you and Jason need to do—in your relationship—in order to persevere through the pregnancy and then after Darcy was born?
Studies have revealed that there is a high rate of divorce for parents of deceased children. We were aware of that and vowed not be a statistic. Our relationship has been tested more through the pregnancy and Darcy’s life than at any other time in our twenty years of marriage. We still struggle, but we are persevering. I believe that our relationship will eventually become unbreakable because we have a righteous multitude who continue to pray for us and provide love and support. We used to think of ourselves as independent people who do not need to rely on others for help. We were determined to meet this challenge head-on. But during that time, God revealed the pride that was the source of our independent attitude, even toward each other. He showed us in practical ways by gathering His people around us in our time of need. I guess this is where the phrases “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health” from our wedding vows come in.
6. In what ways has your experience with Darcy changed the person you are now?
God has made me much more compassionate toward those who experience similar trials, especially those who have kids with any kind of trisomy condition. Also, because I survived this heart-wrenching ordeal, I know that I can survive anything and can help others do the same. Last, I have a renewed commitment to help spread a new kind of “pro-choice” message: that we must choose to help those who cannot help themselves, especially our own unborn children.
And, of course, the negative thing about the experience is that there will always be a Darcy-shaped hole in my heart, a hole that will never be filled in this life.            
7. What were some of the supportive things that friends and family did or said that were most helpful in dealing with the pregnancy and adjusting to life after Darcy was born?

Our Family

We came together and supported one another. There was no bickering or whining. The focal point was Darcy. It was the one thing we shared. We assured one another that her condition was not a result of anything we did. We said, “I love you” a lot.

Church

Where do I begin? Every day for several weeks, we enjoyed meals that church friends had lovingly created. Our deacon family coordinated activities during Darcy’s birth. During the delivery, several women were there to coach me. Those who had medical backgrounds were available to us 24–7. Those who knew photography took literally hundreds of pictures of Darcy and the family. Church families spent the night to help us care for Darcy. Our pastors and deacon constantly checked on us and made sure we were in need of nothing. They brought a church service to our home (one of the items on Darcy’s List was to go to church.) The list is endless, but the experience would not have been the same without the support of our church family. Our little church became a picture of how the body of Christ should act.

Friends

Friends (neighbors, doctors and nurses, and other acquaintances) were very understanding. Knowing that hundreds of these people were available to us at a drop of a hat was so reassuring.

Total Strangers

The comments posted on Darcy’s Web site from people all over the world were a source of inspiration to us. Finding out about lives saved, families reunited, and people finding their way back to God gave us a clear sense that Darcy’s life had purpose. We took comfort and strength in those numbers: Approximately four thousand people a day followed Darcy’s story!

Prayer

Prayer kept us connected to God. That connection stayed strong, due in large part to the thousands of petitions people brought to the only One who could help.

Scripture

It may be difficult to open the Bible in times of such intense pain, but there is so much comfort to be had in knowing what the Lord has to say about times like these. The verses I have stated above have been my inspiration.

Music

I played several specific songs constantly during our time with Darcy. Now when I hear those songs every now and then, my thoughts return to the sweet moments I had with my little girl in my arms, her smell, her softness, her purity.


You may find out more about this book at http://www.darcyanne.com/index.html.



Friday, January 8, 2010

Stop Them in the Nick of Time

I know I've passed the 50th birthday, because I seem to do way too much talking about "the way things used to be." I don't really want to go back to the "good, ole days" because I love computers, microwaves, cell phones, sushi, microfiber, and too many other things to mention.

However, just last week I was talking to someone about what I do wish could revert to life as I knew it as a child—the innocence and lack of even awareness of sexuality and violence. I blissfully enjoyed life, not knowing what sex even was until 4th grade, and then I only found out because a friend told me (and I'm not sure I knew it as "sex"; just as "making babies."My response, which is classic, was: "That can't be how babies are made because people are always surprised to find out they're pregnant. And if they'd done that, they would know it!"

Today's kids are exposed to sex and violence everywhere—TV shows and commercials, the clothes marketed to them, toys, video games and, now apparently, Nickelodeon. Campaign for a Commercial- Free Childhood has the following info:
Nickelodeon, the children's media empire, is promoting sexualized and violent video games to children as young as preschoolers.  Its popular gaming website, Addictinggames.com, features games such as Candy the Naughty Cheerleader, Bloody Day ("Back alley butchering has never been so much fun. . . . How many kills can you rack?") and the Perry the Sneak series, where gamers take the role of a peeping Tom trying to catch revealing glimpses of scantily clad and naked women. Nickelodeon promotes, and links directly to, Addictinggames.com on its Nick.com website for children and even on NickJr.com, its website for preschoolers.
Apparently there is another game called Naughty Classroom so kids who have a thing for their teacher can act out the fantasy. Help end this absurdity. Click this link to quickly send an online e-mail to Nick's leadership. You can simply send the e-mail the Campaign for a Commercial- Free Childhood has already written, or you can write your own in the blank.

You don't have to be over 50 to think preschoolers shouldn't be encouraged in sexual or violent fantasies. Let me know in the comments below that you took the time to click. Then provide a link to this blog or the action website in your Facebook status.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Creating Space through a Spirit of Giving

Discipleship Journal's Online News e-mail came with an interesting article today, one on creating margins in your life (read it here, and subscribe to DJ's newsletter: www.navpress.com/magazines/archives/article.aspx?id=16167).
This is an issue I've wrestled with over the years, both from being too busy in years past, to where I am today—fighting feelings of guilt that I am not working harder, making more money, doing more. I am pretty sure the guilt is false guilt, especially since God totally created this space in my life by first uprooting me from Delaware and my job there and then with this autoimmune disease that incapacitated me for most of the summer.

I am trying to be more intentional about how I fill my time (not that I don't still waste too much of it, trust me). Things that focus on my health have to be high on the priority list so I don't end up in another flare-up or in pain.

Ministry opportunities that I am passionate about are also a top priority. That includes my speaking ministry and my volunteer work and an idea that is germinating from that (which I will share in weeks ahead; I am SO excited). I am also finding myself enjoying more time for Bible study, more time for prayer for specific needs and individuals and my community, and time for a new thing I am trying (we'll see how long it lasts) of using the Book of Common Prayer to do the Daily Office morning and evening.

As I said in last week's post, I also want to intentionally see myself as a steward of God's money and resources, not as the owner of the things I've got. To that end, I am trying to spend less on myself and to pray about my spending.

I have also made a decision (a resolution? I shudder at that word) to try to give away something every day from the things I own. I imagine this will be fairly easy at first—clothes that never fit right anyway, books I didn't like, curtains without a window—why do we hold on to these things—but if I follow it through, it will get harder. And I've decided to insist that I give away an additional thing for every new thing I bring into the house. That way I don't buy something simply to give it away so it doesn't hurt me. (I so know how I think!) Nor can I simply replace the things I gave away. And while some things may just go to Goodwill, mostly I am trying to target the gift to a person or organization that could use it.

So far this is what I've given:
1/1 A Beth Moore devotional book I finished with
1/2 A brand-new robe I don't need
1/3 Nail polish in a color I won't wear
1/4 A toy I bought 2 years ago as a gift but the child moved away before I gave it
1/5 Three solid color t-shirts that I found in a sweater box under the bed that will never fit my post-menopausal body again

I know it doesn't sound very sacrificial, but I hope I am clearing up some space and time in my life. In the DJ article I mentioned above, Richard Swenson says this:
Everything we own owns us. It takes time to use it, dust it, paint it, maintain it, build space in the house for it, and work to pay for it. Experts say we use 20 percent of what we own and maintain 100 percent of what we own. We're surrounded by all these things that drain our time.

Want to join me in getting rid of some things that own you?